Lost forever

In the news today reporting from NYC, I saw a young man riding (well, trying to) a bike and I couldn’t help but smile….and when I could hold it anymore, I began to laugh…lol…as the man struggled to control the bike affectively. It was such a funny sight since it reminded me so much of myself. During my grad school days, I had a Spanish room mate (who was always referred to as the “fat hairy Spanish guy”..lol), and who’s still one of my best friends….it was a sight seeing him on a bike…lol..Imagine a fat guy all hunched up on a bike, trying to maneuver the bike with ease, etc…lol…it was “sometimes” a really funny sight…lol..one of those “wonders shall never end”..

Anyway, back to my story, so you know, just coming from naija where I had my own car and all that…I couldn’t imagine stepping down...lol…that was what it seemed like then - to a bicycle- keke – igwe..ah!, no be me o…lol…man, as a las giddy boy..the only people I could remember using bikes constantly were the palm wine sellers..lol.. when my eye clear, I realized that using a bike was the most convenient thing for me since school and most stores were a few blocks away and most grad. students then all had a bike – it was like a grad student cult thing…lol…with your bag strapped to your side, filled up with books and going to your lab late at night when most students were going home to rest – that was your identity, and if you were not social – that was your life as well…lol..but not me sha – I dey crash parties well well…lol

So anyway sha, in naija I stopped riding a bike when I was 12 or something…and I stopped because of an event that I’ll never forget. You see, my father never allowed us to ride a bike in the city…lol…d man dey fear make all those danfo driver no go kill im pikins after all the money spent..lol…so we were only allowed to ride when we traveled to the villa (abi na country side, as I dey take describe am for hia..lol)…so as kids, it was one of those things we eagerly looked forward to at Christmas – apart from all the excess food…lol. So on this day, as was usual in the villa, I was riding a bike with my brothers and cousins in tow when suddenly, feeling a rush of adrenaline and whatever else…maybe it was the devil…I decided to cycle faster…and without realizing it. I found myself descending down a hill at about 160mph…lol...seriously, I no lie, I was going that fact….man, and I was screaming so loud that I think God must have heard my voice in heaven…my legs could not help me slow down at the speed. Good thing I was sane enough to realize that using the brakes were not the best option…I would have been catapulted from the bike…I honestly believe I went to heaven and came back...lol…it was so scary…and what happened next…hmmm.. I don’t know where the wisdom to do that came from at that time.

I looked down the road and realized that if I get to the bottom of hill, I was probably going to end up with broken legs/arms or maybe much worse…that was when I realized that I could crash…yea, practically crash…lol…into the high shrubs, bushes, plants whatever you call it…..on the sides of the road…and that was exactly what I did…I rode my bike, which had become a super jet at that time, into the shrubs and it reduced my speed and I finally stopped… of course, not without some bruises though…lol...but I was alive, and that was what mattered ! After that day…no more for me, I called it quits…that was the end of my bike riding experience, until I became a grad student in the US.

So you can imagine my trepidation (make I blow small grammar..lol) when I got to grad school in Pennsylvania and realized I could save a lot more money if I got a bike for my local transport…and maybe help the environment as well…hmm…it was a tough decision ..lol. Man, initially it was like “me ke, a naija man…how I go reach yankee come dey use keke..no way”....lol…which kain tin be dat...infact when I tell my naija friends and brothers na so dem dey laugh me, dey yab me…call me baba suwe !! Man, after I get the bike sha…within a week, my riding skills don come back…no more unnecessary stunts…hahah….infact e remain small, I for don go contest for “Tour de France” with Lance Armstrong dem….na my papa dem come dey beg me..lol…. But it was actually a good exercise, cos I began to enjoy th experience especially as I had a good bike…but I had to discard the riding after all the girls began complaining that they never could talk to me…lol…since I apparently spent a lot of time breezing past people and never stopping to chat with them…lol…so in the interest of peace..lol..I decided to cut down on the bike riding…lol….dat na lie sha( wink, wink)…and finally, my dear bike was stolen. It took me everywhere – class, parties, grocery stores, bank, etc – the only place it didn’t take me to was on a date, lol - I miss my bike, my partner…wherever you’re, I want you to know that I loved you…anyway sha, I don already swear for who nab dat my bike…lol…

On a different note, did anyone watch the program “How to catch a con man” on NBC last night…man, all the con men that were shown on TV were all naijas in the UK…wich level now, wetin dey happen …infact all of dem na ibo men…sold out by their “okoro” accents...lol..na waoh…it was really hilarious seeing them twitching and fumbling when they realized they were on TV…and their faces would be broadcast to the whole world.

Anyway, sha…make I go back to work..make my oga no come catch me here…abi una wan make I go follow dem do yahoo-yahoo…peace out folks !!