Thursday, November 29, 2007

In the news today...

Choosy males and aggressive females - a role reversal has been found in the sexual behavior of the topi antelope.

Some males are so forcefully pursued by pushy females that they refuse the advances of previous partners.

--- Has anyone experienced this?

According to research published in the journal Current Biology, this helps males conserve their sperm for the possibility of mating with new females.

---hmm, thank goodness we don’t have to conserve our sperms…else, I’m sure some of us would have run out of stock a long long time ago……lol…”na mate as you go”….just kidding…HIV dey there o..

It therefore increases the chances of fatherhood with the widest possible number of partners.
Dr Jakob Bro-Jorgensen, the scientist conducting the Zoological Society of London (ZSL) research, said: "In cases where the male antelope was free to choose between females, he deliberately went for the most novel mate, rather than the most high-ranking."

--- Hmm, "novel mate" ehn…does that mean the mate that’s most imaginative and can think of novel positions and styles or what….hmmm...just wondering ..I’m kinda confused

He added: "However, some pushy females were so aggressive in their pursuit of the male that he actually had physically to attack them to rebuff their advances."

--- Lol..I guess this happens…..why these kain tins no dey happen to me nah, I swear I will not physically attack….I no mean say make antelopes pursue me o…lol

The research was undertaken in the Masai Mara area of Kenya, in the traditional breeding grounds of the topi.

Copious copulations
Females are fertile for a single day only. The topi antelope (Damaliscus lunatus jimela) come together once a year, for just over a month to mate.

Dr Bro-Jorgensen said: "It is not uncommon to see males collapsing with exhaustion as the demands of the females get too much for them."

-- Lmao, he probably needs some Viagra abi na burantashi…lol….wetin u want make I talk nah…man wey do finish, come collapse, na die be dat

He observed that each female would mate, on average, with four males, while some reached 12 different partners. And each individual would be mated with approximately 11 times, although one pair was observed together on 36 occasions.

-- 36 !!…even 11 sef…I need to know the exact pills they take for that…lol…its not for me, its for the market…, I don’t need such to achieve that feat…and yes, you all should take a cue from these

"[The females must] ensure that they become pregnant, and preferably with a hotshot male, so they must focus all their energies on ensuring that males mate with them in that time," Dr Bro-Jorgensen explained.
Unexpected behavior;

These findings are contrary to conventional sexual selection theory which says males are competitive and females are choosy.
Talking to the BBC News website, Dr Bro-Jorgensen said: "We may not have our eyes open to the fact that opposite sexual conflicts may occur more commonly than we think. Normally, males are persistent and females resistant. What I saw in African topi was unexpected."

-- lol, so the males have now become choosy…times are certainly changing….hotshot male ehn, hmmm….now I see the rush for Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington,…Wait a sec, did I forget to include my self on that list....I be hot shot nah..

The synchronized mating activity, and the species' promiscuity, makes males the limited resource and females the competitive ones.
It is thought the females are interested in mating with several partners to ensure fertilization, in case their first choice happens to have reduced sperm supply, or is genetically incompatible with them.

-- Synchronized mating ehn…see big grammar…lol..e be like say e don become lottery, try ya….Abeg, anybody sabi as dem dey do “synchronized mating”?..Make I add am to the small one wey I sabi..

Courtesy of the BBC:Topi Antelope
Quote of the day from BBC: New Emerging order

"Sperm competition is an evolutionary arms race, with males developing increasingly sophisticated strategies to tip the balance towards successful conception and at the same time hinder the chances of rival males."

My prediction: Very soon, a country’s wealth would be measured by the size of its sperm….I wonder which countries and continents would be super powers then?..hmm..let me go think about that, the time is near…lol

Ummh..I think I'm going out folks !!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tales by candle light.

I once had to go to a fast food place in Nigeria a few minutes after me and my brothers had finished thrashing a girl who’d always pretended to be so sophisticated, and yet completely embarrassed herself by asking for “Egg roll” instead of “Scotch eggs”…which kain tin be…Anyway, I walked into the fast food place, and just as I was approaching the counter, I started looking at the beautiful smiling face behind it…as I about to place my order, I got all confused….Was it “egg roll” or “Scotch eggs”?…lol...I asked for “Can I get twos egg rolls”…I muttered silently hoping she didn’t hear me clearly…lol..too late! She corrected me,”Oh, you want Scotch eggs”..…yawa !!

I once traveled from Lagos to Abeokuta to visit a girlfriend without informing anyone at home. Deciding to surprise her, I left Lagos without informing her I was coming. Unfortunately for me, by the time I got there, she wasn’t home. Remember, this was long before the advent of GSM in Nigeria and there was no way to communicate with her remotely. What a wasted trip!! So with a heavy heart, I decided to go back to Lagos. By the time I go to the bus park, there were no more buses, and the few buses present had tripled their fares and I didn’t plan for this in spite of all my meticulous planning, apparently fuel had just gone scarce…that’s common in Naija. After standing about three hours hoping, praying for a miracle and when it became apparent that none was happening, I needed to be punished lol…I began to combine crossing and uncrossing my fingers, with cursing…lol…that wasn’t working either…, I finally realized that I had to do something drastic.

I needed to get back to Lagos before my parents realized that I was out of town….hahah, the wahala no go easy..water go pass garri be dat and me I no wan be the garri…lol…. During these few hours, trucks filled with stones (If you know Abeokuta, you’d know they have a lot of rocks, so you’d probably know the trucks I’m referring to) had continuously come by and people had got on the trucks, sitting on the stones… wasn’t going to do that…well, I changed my mind when I saw this was truly an emergency…lol...I had my heart in my mouth the on entire 2 hr trip and once I got to a very convenient location in Lagos, I came down and walked the rest of the distance home…make peeps no tink say I don become laborer…lol…I would never do that again!!

When I was 15 and had just started driving, I didn’t have a driver’s license in Nigeria. I was driving my home with my brother when we looked and “O ma se o”, there were the infamous “Men in black” (Nigerian police) at a road block up ahead. And as is usual with them, they were stopping, searching, humiliating people and committing the other atrocities that they are known for. Man, there was no way we could go past them without them stopping us…and there was no other way home except that way, I had to think fast, and that I

Luckily for us, the traffic was flowing so I confidently drove towards them and just as I was about a few feet from them, I pulled over right infront of them!!…Revved up the car for some time…came down from the car, opened the hood, touched a few things and generally pretended that the car was giving me very serious problems…lol...spent about 10 mins doing that while watching them…lol...after I was convinced that they’d noticed us and our “Major” problems and they were obviously not going to waste our time anymore…I got into the car and drove past them…voila !! made it. There was no way they were going to stop us again after all the trouble we’d been through infront of them…hahahahah….ingenious !!


Thursday, November 22, 2007

Police story 1.

My first encounter with the police, naija police, was thankfully not dat bad...if to say dem catch me dat day, the kain bullala where I for get back go still dey pain me reach

Back in secondary school abi na high see I went to this area sec. school where the number of peeps where sabi speak yoruba for class pass those where dey sabu english for no no which category i dey sef..if dem leave me ehn, na for yoruba i go dey write dis blog...kilo wi, se o ri gbo ibon to ti fe she eniyan le that out and you get a free T-shirt with my face on Infact, i fit count the number of peeps where fit speak anglais without adding ngbati-ngbati to the sentence,,, dat ma school na waoh.....hmm, maybe dat na why I just dey throw way bullets for dis my

Anyway sha, as I dey talk. One day, na im we dey class with nothing to i siddon one corner dey jack my "Better lover" for kain book persin wan read nah, dat na the most important tin at dat time. So me i siddon jejely dey jack my tin..dey dream dey im some olopa, abi na police dem dey call them come park their vehicle on the street dey collect egunje abi na bribe as usual. You see, my class dat time dey on the first floor facing the road.. so my classmates, who obviously had nothing to do come dey look dem as dem dey collect the money with, make I blow small grammar me, e don tay where i blow grammar for dis my go hide the money for one secret me of a naija comedy now. So na im one of these guys where dey sell Buns abi na puff-puff no even sabi...come dey waka pass, na im dey police men stop this guy...dey ask am of licence,..just kidding..but I'm sure naija police can do

Seriously, wetin concern this police men with persin where dey sell im dem wan collect "something" from the guy. The guy come dey resist, and people come dey watch dem..but trust naija now, everyone mind im business. My classmates come begin dey shout from window "Give am one puff-puff", "Give am one buns", "Find olopa one buns or puff puff", "Fun won puff puff jare" where dey for street just dey laugh the police men...omo, shame just catch the police Man, before we go talk Jack robinson..the police men vex..turn round...enter my find us.

Man, see race..the entire class, where dey jack better lover, be persin tell me make i find my so I carry my pigolo where don stand under my desk take too say woman dey my skool, and i carry dat tin chook am at dat girl go just carry na quintuplets e for Anyway sha, na im we take of and when olopa enter my class, na only one guy where dey sleep na im dem, dem vex o, no be small. na im all the teachers, principal come dey beg for almost 45, if to say dem nab anyone of us...e for rough dat kain bullala ehn, maybe dem for carry us go their station do throw way us inside cell with hardened criminals...shivering...dat one for rough

Tory neva end o...after the police men waka, na im dem come dey find the people where cause the problem. Na im i come carry my big mouth go tell my pal say na Femi be the ring leader....omo, na im my pal go tell the teachers say Femi be the ring leader just to save our necks. When dem come catch Femi, im come name all him accomplices...guess who he named !! just to punish me. All my explanations fell on deaf so i take enter wahala...kai..I don learn my lesson with snitching....but no be me tell the teachers...I just tire. Na so i enter wahala, dem give us cutlass...omo, na so we enter bush for dry season go cut grass...when the grass don dry ehn....i nearly so dem sentence us to 7 days of grass abi na bush Man, after the first day, i nearly die out of annoyance. I curse Femi die...and unluckiliy for me...I was the only innocent to fight am no be option at dat time, all of dem go just join hands wound me

Anyway sha, on the second day, the teacher in charge of randy useless teacher like dat say make we go find one of him girlfriends for the next school for na secondary school girl o...say if the girl gree, im go free us. Na so we go find the girl, beg am say im sugar daddy wan see am..and the girl na so the man free us o. Thinking about all that now, i can't help but be filled with digust that my secondary school teachers were sleeping with their students....After dat experience, i learnt my lesson...Me and naija police no dey follow one way..but na lie, me and dem go still jam again....and i hate them for everything they are.

Abeg, make i go sleep...peace out folks. enjoy your day !!

Happy thanksgiving !!

hi peeps, how are ya'll doing, hope ya'll doing good. How was your turkey day...hope you all had a good one. I can imagine the generations of turkey that lost their loved ones - boyfriends, girlfriends, uncles and aunties - on thanksgiving...yea, its that sad. Unfortunately, only one turkey gets pardoned on thanksgiving day. Why can't we pardon all turkeys.

Happy thanksgiving peeps, but spare the turkeys !!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Gone till November..

Hi peeps, it sure feels like I've been away for so long. I've just been really busy at work..dem no gree me see road at all..any sha i dey hail o..I will be back soon...very soon !!