Close to death

While watching TV tonight, I stumbled on this station where a doctor was shown performing a surgery and it reminded me of how many times I've been under the knife - twice- no be say e plenty like that o - lol.

First time, I went in for surgery was when in 99 in Abeokuta. You see I had this small keloid (I hope that's how its spelt) on my back that I was born with and I had accepted as part of me. We went to this hospital - Mercy hospital, in Abeokuta - I'm sure some of you probably know the hospital cos its supposed to be one of the best and biggest there. The doctor took a look at it and was like, "ah, no problem, I can take care of it...it's very easy", I looked at my dad and he looked at me and asked me if I wanted to do it since there are chances it could grow back and perhaps even BIGGER !! Man, that was a very tricky decision, but after much debate and thinking over the next couple of weeks, I decided to do it..yea, become a bit more perfect - lol...how wrong was I. Well, the doctor promised to give me steroid injections to suppress the growth of the keloid, which sounded like it might help. So..gegen..lol..I went into the surgery bouncing....man, by the time the doctor sliced my back..omo, I felt the pain o...geez, it wasn't a good experience.

Anyway, the surgery went well and I was discharged while the part I was operated on was put in bandages. Na so i go back to lagos go dey chill. A week after, I went back to the hospital....and as is common in Nigeria, the nurse removed the stiches...without actually checking if it was alright to remove it, just because it's common to remove stitches after a week...man, that woman almost killed Mr Fine boy o...ah ah..imagine what the loss would have been to the world, how much more the women..lol..

Anyway sha, na im i go back to Lagos go chill. After a couple of days, the wound got infected !! ....i have no idea how that happened...but apparently some virus, bacteria or whatever got into it..and man, the wound started smelling really really bad...I was a working corpse...lol. I went back to see the doctor again, and after waiting for some hourse, I finally saw the doctor. The doctor opened the wound..and the man screamed..when i say screamed, I mean this man screamed...na im i look the man face, omo, i don die be dat...e remain small i for don dey cry already....Mo gbe o, mo ti ku o, chineke nna biko o..na so I come dey beg God o...infact, I expected the next words from the doctors mouth to be " Dude, I'm sorry but you only have 24 hrs to live, so go back to lagos and finish your business and prepare for death"...ah, na to go write my will..lol...well, na only my shirts and trozees(lol) i been get that time sha...i go fit will am go give salvation army, i fit even chuk woman born pikin for that 24 hrs sef, make my name no lost- how you check am now, then I go do some kain things where I go like do, then finally I go go church go sleep...lol...not necessarily in that order, but man, i gats die inside church, or on top my bed alone...God forbid person die on top woman..lol

But seriously, what type of doctor should even does that (screaming infront of your patient ), and the man should have known with his years of experience...man, na so the doctor summon the nurse, call the lab to begin to run tests....eh, afraid grip me well well...so tay I dey sweat reach my oko..lol..i never born pikin o...lol...anyway sha, the man was really annoyed with the nurse, I was IMMEDIATELY readmitted into the hospital...and after a few days on antibiotics, he felt it was ok to go back to the theatre.

Yea, I went back a second time !! and it was stitched up again. Man, this time, i tell dem say make dem leave that stitches for atleast 1 month o..lol...i no fit shout o. At the end of the day, the keloid still came back, and a little bit bigger than it was initially..but I thank God, it didn't grow to something astronomical or even noticeable. Man, I actually thought I had come to the end of my life then when that doctor screamed and everything became an emergency...lol..I come dey think of everything where I go miss...my girlfriend most especially..lol..all the money where I wan make..chei, chineke biko, abasi mbok, na so I dey beg God that day....in all languages..lol

Second time where I go surgery, na the same mistake again..i just tire for nigerian doctors that time..dem remove the stitches early again...and the wound never heal....but this time, it was not infected...but I had to go back to the theatre AGAIN..lol..yes o - two surgeries, four visits to the operating room. And the thing where vex me pass be say dem do the surgery near my "thing"...lol..na so all these small residents for hospital go dey see my thing..lol..omo, e no easy initially...after some time, i no just send. Infact, e get one day where the doctor and the residents just enter my room for hospital, as dem just enter na im I don comot my cloth already..lol..na im the doctor, say "ah..no need for that today"..lol..i don become exhibitionist o..lol..but I no fit come follow any of those fine medical chicks yarn...lol..as dem don see my thing finish, use am play sef....who even know whether dem dey discuss my "thing"...lol..but i hope say e compare for scale sha..hahahahh

Peace out folks, make I go sleep...i get meeting at 8:30 tomorrow.....why person go schedule meeting for that kain time sef...i know say i go dey sleep inside dat meeting...stay cool buddies